If you’ve never gone to Gay Bingo or the Third Friday Bingo at First Baptist Church, here is a tutorial to help you understand some of the “rules” used:
- If you have a number called on your bingo board(s), a roudy “woohoo” is certainly called for. If you don’t, you may gently groan to yourself. Harassing the bingo diva may result in her declaring a Party Foul (see below).
- If you are one number away from a bingo, you must wave your arms in a queenly fashion. A woohoo would be in order as well.
- Our bingo divas tend to have a mild case of Tourette syndrome. Should they inexplicably blast out the following word, a crowd response is in order:
• (Salt Lake City Mayor) Jackie Biskupski! “You’re All Fired”
• (Former Subway spokesman) Jared! (It’s for the children)
• Donald Trump is a great president! “Alternative Fact!”
- Certain bingo numbers get reactions as well:
• B1 — Am one!
• B3 — Fly and be three!
• B4 — And after … and during … and in between!
• B9 — It’s not a tumor! (in your best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression)
Etcetera… You’ll pick the rest up.
- Certain bingo numbers have songs!:
You’ll have to be there to hear them.
- Party fouls. The following are party fouls and could result in you being forced to wear the “Wig of shame”:
• Yelling bingo when you don’t really have one.
• Forgetting to do the queen’s wave when you are down to one number.
• Harassing the bingo diva (Fine line here. Harassing is expected. Lines, however, can be crossed. You have been warned.)